Post Lunch Boredom Thoughts

As I sit here at my father's office plagued with boredom I have an itch to write. Although I am truly sorry for treating you blogger as an entertainment booty call, it doesn't matter why I'm here, right? Isn't it enough that in the end, regardless of the reasons, I showed up? Hmm. I'm baffled by my efforts to make a heartfelt apology considering this is a free blogging website, not a neglected boyfriend or pet.

Well, anyway.
This morning, while sitting at my home of a desk at Germania Insurance, my phone chimed and I was quite shocked with who it was. It was someone who wasn't very happy with me, and really who could blame him. He's young. They have a lot of unsubsided anger, those young ones. Well he, I'm sure, thought very maturely of himself for confronting me at all, but I have to crush this pride installed in his "maturity" because when I say "my phone rang" I mean he sent a text message. I marveled at the carefully constructed few sentences he wrote, trying to narrarate his frustration and anger towards what he considers my wrong doing. Well I wish he understood that I did him a favor,actually. So I replied exactly how he needed me to reply. In a dry, business like monotonous text message. He shouldn't exert any effort to feel anything in my regards, becuase I am not in his life currently, nor will I be in it in the future.

Our lives all have a direction, and while we can change the course of this direction, either way we are progressing towards something. We have brief encounters, due to the inevitable crossing of different paths, and occasionally we meet people who we will walk with for many years. It is important however, to continue progressing, and to prioritize in the order of what makes your journey the most efficient. Because of this sometimes,even though I am a nice girl, you have to make yourself as unhuman (hence monotony)in someone elses eyes, so perhaps they will forget about you and continue on their journey.

I have mixed emotions about this post for two reason. I'd like to feel lame for chasing a tangent that sparked from an unimportant conversation. I even went as far as to reword a metephore that we have all heard about "the journey of our lives". So while I did an ultra lame thing, I have produced something worthy of pride. I started reminiscing in this draft at 1:15, and now after reflection, proofreading, and texting Robin Nordman here and there, it is 2:04. So while I'm not proud of my unextraordinary and unoriginal thoughts, I am in this moment proud of my exemplified ability to waste over forty five minutes of what would have otherwise been time moving at a glacial pace. Blessings truly do present themselves in the strangest of ways.

An Indistputably Sweet Sweet Boy

Heyyyyo

So!

Recent Developments:

-Mah herrrr is brown :)

Thanks Erin!

-I'm HOME

I love it here.

-I miss Alex Hodges....

My favorite ginger (and thats a competitive spot).

-I can't go to sleep.

College kids are screwed up insomniacs.

-I'm really enjoying Eric Clapton lately...

and Bob Seger

and Bob Dylan

and Incubus

^Its basically been a revival up in iTunes lately.

-Working for dad

and babysitting randomly.

Kids are HILARIOUS.

They're like tiny little humans who say the most absurd and brilliant things.

-I can't wait for Christmas.

Anticipation kills this guy...

-I love buying presents for my mom...

She's so much cooler than me

-I've been in a radiantly GREAT mood for a while now.

-I have the best older brother in the world. Ever.

-I had dinner with Nord,Riah, and Tor the other night.

It was really great.

I've missed those conversations.

-Hey Davis...

Thanks.

-And I've been thrift hunting so much lately.

I love OLD decrepit stuff.

-Which brings me to my next love:

Dooney and Bourke

-Me and Robin laid in her bed sunday morning and laughed at everything and nothing for so long.

It was the most wonderful warm feeling.

-I'm enjoying this time, and season.

-"you're my favorite kind of insanity."

I wish I was cool enough to update theAFTERpart consistently....

"I wish i was a little bit taller

I wish i was a baller

I wish i had a girl who looked good i would her

I wish I had a rabbit in hat

and a bat......."

and I really just don't wish for any of that at all actually.

MOST SWEET AND MERRY CHRISTMAS WISHES TO ALL....

I don't know if you noticed anything....

DIFFERENT

I went to MetroPark today....at THREE THIRTY IN THE MORNING.

I went with my best friend :).

Being at different universities has brought us closer, I think. Moronic, I know.

The most sensible things don't make much sense at all...

Circles.

I need this old train...

I just ordered a drink called "the Nervous Breakdown"........

four shots of expresso; I thought it was clever too.

I have a french interview in about 11 hours.

Let's do this.

It's. Cold.

Good morning...

Turns out that's two words, not one.

I guess I should've known.

Blonde.

I've really been thinking about getting rid of it.

Superficial quota of the day has been met.

Looked Into the the Baylor New York Journalism program tonight...

Hopefully that will be possible by junior year.

Hopefully.

Okay, I'm here to be honest.

Leave me alone.

Better yet, go somewhere far away,

not because I have a problem ignoring you,

but because you can't seem to ignore me.

There's a few things I want...

I'm not proud of the lameness of many of those things,

but didn't I say I was here to be honest?

Yeah, I did.

So here's a few things I want:

1)I want someone in my life that Paramore's "The Only Exception" applies to.

Paramore? Like I said, I'm not proud of everything I want.

Currently on iTunes repeat. Deal.

2)I want to lose a two digit multiple of five.

I'm here to be honest, not to make sense.

3)I want the semester to be over.

Au revouir la francais

4)I want to be OUT of Collins.

-Community showers

-Tiny room

-Hairy carpet

-Sink scum

-Tiny closet

-Abundance of florescent lighting

-Thin walls

You'd be surprised what you can hear in the girls dormitory of a Baptist University.

-^Summary: It's gross

_____________________________

So I'll finish that list later.

This post has a melancholy tone to it.......

What can you expect; I'm posting at 3 in the morning regardless of what blogger says.

It seems most posts take place at unreasonable hours in the morning....

I played pool today.

I liked it.

Apparently there are at least seventy five things that make me the weirdest person at least one person has met...

that sentence was a mouth full. Geeeez.

"I hope that I'll fall asleep

Knowing that you'll always be

The story with no ending"

Passion Pit throws a nice concert........

I'd like to go back.

In regards to me:

"You live your life in survival mode,

and have convinced yourself that you don't feel deeply as you could, or even at all.

But don't you know it would take some pre-existing feeling to trigger such protection.

You can feel. You have felt.

The question is

Why did you stop?"

Listen,

I don't know....

Honestly.

Jingle BELLS

Okay, so i'll refrain from breaking out in song, but I have made a list for

the Moooost wonderful time of the year :)

Hannah's List 2010

Beneath It All...

I'm just feeling a little homesick, that's all.

"I've got a tight grip on reality"

"I've always lived like this,

keeping a comfortable distance..."

Sense....

"What's on your mind?"

"I'm......Well. I don't talk about theses things."

"Why have you come here then? I think there are things you would like to discuss...You just aren't used to this concept. That's alright. You can sit if you'd like...take your time."

"I'm thinking about shoes..................................................."

"What exactly about shoes?"

"...........and space."

"Space?"

"..........Distance."

"Do you feel distanced from something?"

"..........and the number seven."

"What about the number seven? Does number seven mean something special to you?"

"..........and shoes. I've been thinking about shoes."

"What about shoes?"

"I've been thinking about the number seven too lately.....Yes. Seven.

Smiles for Whiles

A beautiful day

with love

and family

and candles

and cheesecake

and Juicy Couture.

It was October twentieth.

and It was a beautiful day.

The Last Seven

http://sevenaway.blogspot.com/

I'll be here for a couple of days.

Check ittt.

mkah

Okay.

I was going to leave it alone,

but IM ITCHINGGGGG so say something,

and maybe when I'm done reading it,

it'll make sense to me.

Don't leave me high and dry,

-Thank you Radiohead.

I was walking away.

I was ignoring it.

I was about to progress blindly and numbly towards ignoring this all,

but

I don't have to.

"Don't leave me high,

Don't leave me dry.

Don't leave me high,

Don't leave me dry.

It's the best thing that you ever had

best thing that you ever

ever

had."

They aren't deep lyrics.

BUT WHO CARES.

It's such a breath of fresh air.

There's enough fifteen year olds out there trying to be deep.

So if i need that fix, there's plenty of places to go.

But here's the thing:

That's not what I want.

I want something SENSIBLE,

and something I can summarize.

I don't care about

being different

changing the world

lighting the darkness

I just want to sit satisfied in an average amount of intellect with you.

yes, YOU, the one with my shoe.

...............................

And when I read it...

it still didn't make sense.

Okay.

Dayish four

Alright.

I'd like to know who has my shoe.

Seriously.

I'm growing impatient, and it's very inconvenient,

and such.

and

I always thought you would know how to find me,

I mean,

You have my shoe.

Three

Can you remember all the hope we were brought up to have?

Yeah,

I remember it to.

Two

iPod shuffle woke me up with a nice surprise this morning.

-Monsters, By the Hurricane Bells

Started another tablet last night.

Keeping up with things will be very nice.

It'll be unhealthy, but that's very easy to ignore.

I turn eighteen in eleven days.

Yeah.....

In this particular moment I'm not that excited about it,

but I'm really hungry, so

I can't multitask feelings.

-Soundtrack 2 My Life, By Kid Cudi

Sooooooo,

Absence itches.

It itches quite a bit.

Itchy October.

It's day 2.....

Ellipses, Eclipses

Time has been a whirlwind of change that has kept me away from this tablet.

Perhaps the anticipation of it all was the only thing that kept me coming back in the first place.

Everything is different....

The smiles,

The nights,

The conversations and cars,

They all shine like the stars you're surrounded by.

They shine brighter than you expected.

Don't stare...

You might go blind...

MovingInMovinOn

So how does this go? I've said my goodbyes and made peace with leaving what has been so familiar, but how do I approach the hello's that the future holds?

"Have fun and find your wings for a couple of years...and then figure out where you want to fly."

Someone told me that tonight. We had a conversation that I didn't expect to have...but conversations with this person, well, they've always had a spontaneous quality. We talked about You. I hate talking about You. Talking. Thinking. Dreaming. And waking up. No.

But on a happier note,

I don't know where I want to fly just yet. And it is truly a beautiful thing that for now, I don't have to know.

Mom cried today. It breaks my heart each time.

It's a heavy thing to feel. It's as if something reaches inside of you and tries to stretch your heart right of your chest cavity... I suppose thats true in a sense.

I can't help but to leave part of my heart with my mom, and with my dad.

There would be no safer place to leave it after all.

Tonight is my last night here.

It was debatable as to if I would leave tomorrow, or Thursday, but now I know.

Tomorrow is the day.

In leaving there is freedom.

You become and blank slate hiding behind the alias of being new.

_________________________________________________

It's time for the truth...

I'm trying so hard to write about college because that's what I feel like I'm supposed to do right now.... but if it were any other night I know exactly what I would be talking about....

It is my last night to sleep in my bed before I go to Baylor, yet all I can think about is you...

You crawled into my thoughts unexpectedly in the end... but you always seem to do that. You give me just enough time to forget you, and then you make sure there is a reason to remember you again. Im not that girl anymore. I'm strong. I'm logical. I'm not stuck in a fantasy that you pushed me into anymore.

Yes. There is a certain nostalgia about you that I can't seem to escape sometimes,

but I'm older.

I'm not the same.

I grew up...

but you didn't.

You haven't moved.

I used to feel so helpless...

but now... it's you.

What you used to have, you lost.

I don't know what this is.

I don't know if I'm not through with you.

I don't know if this is done.

but this I do know:

I'm in a place to forget...

If you'd only let me.

I don't have enough faith to invest in "maybes" anymore...

From now on, that is your expense.

_______________________________________________

Alright. I feel better.

I know someone may be confused....

This isn't about You.

It's about You.

..........

or maybe it's been about me the whole time.

Maybe this is all

just

a

dream

:)

This....

Could not possibly give so much of a summary of "What I Think", but we all fall prey to the cluthes of boredom.
What you think. survey: "
1-What do you think about life?
I'm a pretty big fan.
2-What do you think about love?
It seems quite popular.
3-What do you think of your friends?
It's been an interesting ride.
4-What do you think about your school?
I lyke tha Bayla Beayas
5-What do you think about work?
Do it.
6-What do you think about people?
They're a frustrating fascination of mine.
7-What do you think about your teachers?
I haven't met them yet.
8-What do you think about art?
We can all find some beauty in the ugly.
9-What do you think about artists?
Different breed.
10-What do you think about your parents?
I think I'll keep em.
11-What do you think about homework?
I'm going to have it soon.
12-What do you think about reading?
I like it...I do.
13-What do you think about myspace?
Playground for provocative sixth graders
14-What do you think about spring?
White dresses and wheat feilds?
15-What do you think about summer?
You grow weary of it, just as you craved it in the beginning.
16-What do you think about fall?
This fall is pretty important.
17-What do you think about winter?
Boots, and scarves, and grey :)
18-What do you think about computers?
Thank you for MacBooks and Frostwire.
19-What do you think about TV?
Movies.
20-What do you think about smoking?
I value the whiteness of my teeth too much.
21-What do you think about drinking?
Eat. drink, and be merry.
22-What do you think about?"
It's a frustrating concept...and it always has been.

drydrydesert

-Okay here's the part where it's late at night and I'm feeling a bit....Im not sure.

-Listening to pathetic Mayday Parade jams

-I'm really just enjoying some quality moping around time

-Robin moved into her dorm at ACU today, and I'm very happy for her.

-Now if only Thursday could arrive so I could move in to my dorm.

-I'm seriously thinking of deleting my facebook. Alright, we all know that's not going to happen but it has been making me quite angry lately.

I guess what's really bothering me specifically is that one friend. Of course I could delete them... but I can't really bring myself to do that either. It's very immature of me, and if they ever read this I'm sure they would have no problem deleting me in a heartbeat. But I feel so stupid because I'm talking about facebook on my blog....

-Even though I'm kind of sipping some hater-ade towards facebook right now, I am for sure going to see the movie about it...I've forgotten what it's called, but it looks spectacular.

-Current song "Miserable at Best"... Seriously? Seriously?!

-I know I keep rushing for it to be move in day, but It's going to be very hard to give my mom that one sealing hug... she's a tiny little woman with big emotions, and I love her very very much.

-Gosh I might throw up (this song)

-I don't like slow dancing.... I just don't. Mom thinks it's a sign of commitment issues. lawl

-You know I think I'd be crazy not to have commitment issues.

I speak for all seventeen year olds when I say this. We're young. We should act that why while it's still appropriate.

-Blah....if that's a mood, then that's how I feel...Blah

-Thank you iPod shuffle for some Radiohead....

-And with that, Goodnight.

Confession: Right now,
It hurts.

aiggght

-11:11 a.m Office Hunger is the WORST

-This one particular strange conversation has going on for days

-Actually I'd say it's been going on for a little over a year

-But I just cannn't stop talkin' :)

-But it's healthy: It hasn't hurt for a while now: Hooray for growth

-However THAT wound is still healing, and perhaps will be for years to come

-But I've been feeling sunnysunnysunny, and you don't get to be a cloud :)

-Today is the day of emoticons I guess [ :) ]

-11:18 a.m Office Hunger has not subsided

-"It's cricket season." -Barry Green [scattershooting.blogspot.com]

-I check that blog^ nearly every day

-Sure, I'm always fishing around for information about the latest scandal

-Many people act above that...But I really don't think anyone is

-My advice about oatmeal: I'M STILL STARVING

-Joe T's with the girls tonight is sounding more and more fabulous

-So the current battle happening in my mind: My last Sunday in town is approaching. Do I go to Gateway where I've been going lately? Or do I go to Grace for one last appearance with my parents? I grew up at Grace, so it seems appropriate, but I'm fascinated with the idea of disappearing... Too much analyzation has gone into that thought. Perhaps I'll flip a coin.

-Story Time: This morning I thought i'd like to paint my nails black...well

upon finishing painting one thumb I decided I changed my mind.

So I wiped off the one polished fingernail with a post it note...and that just was not very effective.

Result: I have nine clean, presentable fingernails, and one horrendous blackish, stained, skank of a thumbnail. So that's how that went.

-11:33 a.m and the vision of lunch is in sight...tick...tock...TICK...TOCK

-Daily Craving: Stromboli

Debt Free

This is the thing.

I'm alright.

You know, I get it.

I understand.

You do you,

and Im doin' me.

But um,

where's your consideration?

where's your conscience?

where'd you put the knife you just stabbed me with, eh?

I'm good.

Really.

But that hurt for a couple of seconds.

My account is empty.

I can't spend anymore hurt on you.

So next time,

go somewhere else.

MustBeSaid

Not one ounce of me appreciates Matchbox Twenty

Groovin'

-okay so I took quite the vacation which got me out of the blogging groove

-I really don't like the word "groove" in any context, but ayy it's alright

-Summer is ending like it began:slow

but summer time had a marathon of the fast paced life which was good

-"Summer timeee, when the livin's easyy..." Couldn't help myself

-So I've joined the ranks of the cliche(again) and started a diet today

-Sophomore year I went on a diet, and a friend I had at the time was very upset and would trick me into eating...I'd go over to his house and he'd take me to sonic (cherry limades are a weakness) and he would actually be appalled at my discipline... but realistically thats too young of an age to start a diet, and I worked out a minimum of an hour and fifteen minutes a day(school athletics). I guess he thought I was pretty enough, or somehow "above" dieting. That makes me smile. But he doesn't think of me that way anymore, and I'm becoming okay with that. Things change, and people move on. If you wanna rock, you rock, and if you wanna roll, you roll. You roll with the punches. Song anyone?

-Chasing rabits ^

- But here goes

-No bread

-No softdrinks

-Multi vitamin

-Exception: Sugar Free redbull

-Sad factors: I must part with my wheat thins that I eat every day. I have a blood sugar problem and wheat thins have saved my funtionability and coherance more times than I can count.

-Replacements: Goodbye wheat thins, hello beef jerkey(redneck much? incredible protein however)

-So there it is, the plan that will be easy enough to abide by. I'll just have to turn away when a hot buttered roll is pulling at my heartstrings

-I did a No Bread Project for two weeks, and it was spectacular. (Yes I will be one of those people that we've all rolled our eyes at before) I felt more awake, and lighter within days. I ended up losing six pounds on the project.

-When it comes to weight, number does not bother me at all. I know when I feel heavier though, and that is usually what springs me into action. I enjoy the purpose and challenge of a diet(lame).

-I hate the word diet

-That is "hate word number two" of this entry (groove^)

-I'm back at the office for my last days of employment before the big move to Waco

-Being at the office makes blogging VERY easy because... there really is nothing else to do, but I enjoy the down time.

-I find sanctuary in the fact that no one reads this blog(that I know of), because really I basically just talk to myself. Most entries include just a ramble of whats on my mind at that exact moment in time, and if I am reading that particular writing style of anyone (like myself) I remain completely...well...bored?

-Summary^: This is my space to ramble without interruption or the feeling of stupidity you get when you ramble in conversation

-And with that, I think I publish

-I'm back in the GROOVE'-lawl

still afraid

Don't know why I'm still afraid
If you weren't real I would make you up
now
I wish that I could follow through
I know that your love is true
and deep
as the sea
but right now
everything you want is wrong,
and right now
all your dreams are waking up,
and right now
I wish I could follow you
to the shores
of freedom,
where no one lives.

Remember when we first met
and everything was still a bet
in love's game
you would call; I'd call you back
and then I'd leave
a message
on your answering
machine

But right now
everything is turning blue,
and right now
the sun is trying to kill the moon,
and right now
I wish I could follow you
to the shores
of freedom,
where no one lives

Freedom
run away tonight
freedom, freedom
run away
run away tonight

We're made out of blood and rust
looking for someone to trust
without
a fight
I think that you came too soon
you're the honey and the moon
that lights
up my night


But right now
everything you want is wrong,
and right now
all your dreams are waking up,
and right now
I wish that I could follow you
to the shores
of freedom
where no one lives

freedom
run away tonight
freedom freedom
run away
run away tonight

we got too much time to kill
like pigeons on my windowsill
we hang around

ever since I've been with you
you hold me up
all the time I'm falling down

But right now
everything is turning blue,
and right now
the sun is trying to kill the moon,
and right now
i wish i could follow you
to the shores
of freedom
where no one lives

freedom
run away tonight
freedom freedom
run away
run away tonight

IwishIwishIwish

-Hello August.

-I've been away for a while vacationing for Dad's birthday, and I couldn't have known how nice being away was going to be.

-I'm in a strange place drifting between sweet familiar summer time, and moving on, and anticipation is sustaining me between those two places.

-In fourteen days the wishing and waiting is over, and the new chapter begins. The official beginning of theAFTERpart.

-I am EXTREMELY ready for that part because this anxious present part is freaking everyone out. -I have always been one to count down to events, the record being my 103 day countdown to my sixteenth birthday (A trip to New York and a license to drive had me foaming at the mouth).

-Well the next fourteen days is already seeming like more than 103 days, and it's driving me absolutely up the wall with INSANITY.

-I want to decorate my hole-in-the-wall of a dorm

-I want to see my room mate (don't know her/seems like a really nice girl)

-I want to be hungry

-I want to be at the lake

-I want to be done with waiting

-It's rare that so many problems have just one solution, but all the of the above do

-The solution: AUGUST NINETEENTH

Banished

Reality: It's time to disappear

Reality: I've done my part

Reality: It's possible that this is beyond repair

Reality: I will survive

Reality: What would comfort be without discomfort

Reality: We will encounter time and distance rather than each other

UncomfortablePossibility: One's future may not have a place for me in it

UncomfortablePossibility: This is the slow comings of the end

Reality: I've been dreaming this whole time

Hmmm
Blogger mobile test drive
:)

jussDreamin

I walked through my apartment lobby today, and enjoyed the clicking of my leather Coach boots,

I got inside the elevator with Frank,

"Seventh floor, right darlin'?"

"Yes Frank. My seventh heaven."

He's a nice man, Frank.

He and his wife Helena fight just so they can make up.

"Fifty years of love and hundreds of broken plates."

That's beautiful Frank.

Our ride to the seventh is short, but sweet.

"Tell your boy to watch his pretty girl closely. We live in the city you know."

"He always does Frank. Give Helena my love."

7A.

My own seventh heaven.

I take of my shoes in the doorway,

drop my jacket

and my purse,

take down my hair,

and walk straight to our big window, overlooking the city.

Our big window.

We shopped for apartments for a long time,

and I wanted this one for the window.

It's raining out, so I put the cactus on the balcony.

I put on Bon Iver's record and vaccume in heels.

I've counted calories since I was fourteen,

not because I'm conscience anymore,

I've been over that for years.

I enjoy the ability to keep up with simple numbers, that's all.

It's sanctifying.

I finish vaccuming, and just in time for me to sit down

the door shuts.

My boy is home.

My boy walks in and sit's down with me.

500 Days of Summer is on, and we laugh because we haven't seen that movie since we were seventeen.

Seventeen.

Metrostation was right...

You won't be seventeen forever.

But in this moment, I am glad for that.

Seventeen had so many questions, and years later

I have every answer right here in my living room.

"Frank said to watch your pretty girl...we live in the city you know..."

A crooked, warm smile on my favorite face...

"You know I always do..."

.............................

And then

I woke up.

And I could not

go back

to sleep.

Collective From Collections

It's easy to find me.

Just cut out all the ropes and let yourself fall.

Walk beneath the balcony, and talk to the boy with a coin.

Then sleep alone with the district for one night.

Don't wake up. Plan on sleeping in .

When you wake up, look through the glass where the light bends at the cracks, then scream at the top of your lungs and pretend the echoes belong to someone you used to know.

Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die?

You might be sad of this, but just let me kiss you now and I'll fade away.

Baby don't be unhappy,baby don't be sad better things are coming I swear there's truth in that.

Now look.

Look up.

[You] will see [me] waiving from such great heights, come down now, [you'll] say. And everything looks perfect from far away, come down now but we'll stay.

You found me.

You found me.

Now this can be our little secret, no one has to know we're feeling higher, and higher, higher, and higher.

Now come on skinny love just last the year. Pour a little salt, we were never here...

My my my,

My my my my my

-Hannah

Let Me Fall

Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order's tall

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different "kind"
I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love what happened here
Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full; so slow on the split

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
Now all your love is wasted?
Then who the hell was I?
Now I'm breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?

LOVEstory

-Good Morning bloggers
-I always struggle with knowing if Good Morning is one word or two...goodmorning good morning??
-Well after searching tirelessly on the world wide web, I've found no holidays, special events, or even celebrity birthdays taking place on July 26th
-So this panned out to be the perfect time to research Nancy Spungen
-Yep. Sid and Nancy
-THATs her

-Nancy
-Even at a young age people referred to her as "an old soul"
-From the East Coast, she was a fast talking, cosmo-girl,who didn't mesh with the mellow west coasters
-She(like so many of us)was a city girl
-Liked David Bowie, and adored the Warhol Scene
-Of all the junkies who shacked up in Warhol's factory, Andy didn't do drugs
-A favorite movie of mine is Edie Segwicks bio, revolving around life after Warhol, Factory Girl
-But chasing rabbits, NANCY
-At the University of Colorado Nancy had a boyfriend, who adored her(from what I can tell in his bio)
-They talked about music, went to shows, and got high
-Nancy and her boyfriend were arrested for selling pot to a university narc
-After she was carted off the university in a cop car, the boyfriend never saw Nancy again
-Perhaps it's for the hype, or perhaps its real, but he still seems torn over her

-Nancy moved to New York and started life as a groupie
-Groupie life:party, party, party, sleep a little, party,party,party
-In May of 1976 she checked into a rehab program and cleaned up for a while

-THEN, she met the Sex Pistols at a show, the birth of Sid & Nancy
-By 1978, Nancy was famous for her "Romeo & Juliet from Hell" romance with Sid Vicious
-Her mother Deborah recieved a phone call from Sid and Nany's Chelsea Hotel room demanding $3000 dollars. Deborah hung up
-Later that same day Nancy called her mother, apologized, and said she loved her mother and father very much
-That was the last time she called
-On October 12, 1978, Nancy was found dead in the bathroom of her Chelsea Hotel
-Sid Vicious was charged for murder
-Sid was so strung out he was surprised by her death when he became lucid, not even knowing that he had stabbed her
-Segments of a poem read at Nancy's funeral: "She saw,heard,felt what others did not and could not...She was different."

-Sid died of a suicidal overdose one year later

-A death note was found in his pocket asking to be buried in his leather jacket next to his baby
-Nancy: "If I asked you to kill me, would you?"
Sid: "I don't know. How would I do it? I couldn't live without ya"
-Just read a Sid and Nancy interview and really I think Nancy was like many girls: A good girl in love with the trendiness of a bad boy, tricking herself into believing that she'll be the one to change him or make him better। She took care of him during the whole interview। She answered many of his questions while he nodded off (claiming sleep deprivation for four days).

Although I do think there could've been real love between Sid and Nancy, love cant sustain anyone through such destruction. Quotes can be found from both of them about embracing a young death. Sid's mother poured his ashes over Nancy's grave, so in a sense they will always be together. Their stories are sad, and you can't help but feel their emptiness when reading about them, but during their short time together they seemed to complete eachother. Whether they were good, or bad for eachother, they we're what the other was looking for. Punk Rock's Romeo and Juliet is an iconic devestating love story, and while Sid and Nancy died young, the fascination of their famous relationship has not. And just as Romeo and Juliet are remembered hundreds of years after the initial publishing, perhaps perhaps Sid and Nancy will be too.

OohLaLa

-Title is a great Rod stewart song
-Check it out
-I had some very honest conversations today with a couple people, and Id say the day turned out better because of them
-I got my nails done by the nicest korean man I've ever met
-Not that korean has anything do with his kindness
-Well duh
-He talked to me the whole time and wished me luck in my endeavors
-I hope your endeavors go great as well Michael
-Today in the car...well...I cried
-I cried for someone
-Someone very important to me
-Things have been complicated for us for a long time
-I hate crying, but since I was myself I embraced it
-And so what if I felt better after it
-Winding down the day with Bon Iver and Sigur Ros
-Today I feel that I've gotten somewhere
-Civil conversation with A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON is making me feel...well... some kind of whole that I haven't felt since...well...the fallout
-I make lots of use for the word well
-Bon Iver makes even a trumpet solo peaceful
-I need to shop for dorm things
-I figured I would just buy on the day I moved in, flying unscripted and what not
-I tend to do things with zero organization or plan but that doesn't work out for everyone and this move is not just about me
-countdown to Waco:23 days
-And with that, I'll end this boring post, and my night
-A good dose of boring has never felt better

expectopaaaWhattttttt

today....

IS DANIEL RADCLIFFE'S BIRTHDAY

and may it be an absolutely enchanting one Dan :)

pioneersOHpioneers

-Today is Muffin Friday at the Office
-July 24th is Pioneer Day in Utah
-Which reminds me of that Levi commercial I love
-I don't thik I've ever bought a pair of Levi's in my life, but their ad campaigns were spectular in 09'
-Lance Armstrong retired on this day in 05' after winning his seventh Tour de France
-It is the 205th day of the year
-Today birthdays are shared by Jennifer Lopez, Barry Bonds, and Ameilia Earhart
__________________________________________
-In my spare time at the office (cough,most of the day) I've been researching Sid Vicious
-I haven't got around to snooping around in Nancy's life yet, but next week looks promising
-Good ol' Sid... was an interesting guy
-That is one thing killers seem to have on us average joes: a certain level of intruige that we can't really compete with
-Heres some Vicious quotes:
-"You can't arrest me, I'm a rockstar"
-"I'm not vicious really. I consider myself to be kindhearted. I love my mum."
-"I'm not chic, I could never be chic"
-"We're really quite nice and friendly, but everyone has a beastly side to them, don't they?"
-" I got this feeling I`m gonna die before I get old. I don`t know why. I just have this feeling."
-"I`ll die before I`m 25, and when I do I`ll have lived the way I wanted to."
-" You just pick up a chord, go twang, and you're got music."
-Sid threw in the towl when he was 22
-The guy seemed to be dwelling on an early death
-It's hard to know if it was suicide (herion overdose)
-I doubt he just woke up and thought "Today I think I'll-" well you know
-Perhaps it had been suicide for a long time in the sense that he decided he was going to rush his expiration date

All the crazy shit I did tonight
Those will be the best memories.
I just wanna let it go for the night
That would be the best therapy for me.

All the crazy shit I did tonight
Those will be the best memories.
I just wanna let it go for the night
That would be the best therapy for me.

Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

All the crazy shit I did tonight
Those will be the best memories.
I just wanna let it go for the night
That would be the best therapy for me.

All the crazy shit I did tonight
Those will be the best memories.
I just wanna let it go for the night
That would be the best therapy for me.

Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.

It's gettin' late but I don't mind.
It's gettin' late but I don't mind.
It's gettin' late but I don't mind.
It's gettin' late but I don't mind.
It's gettin' late but I don't mind.
It's gettin' late but I don't mind.
It's gettin' late but I don't mind.
It's gettin' late but I don't mind.

Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, yeah, yeah.

BeautifulDay

HEYYYY
-Today has been spectacular
-Just a feel good day
-Today I discovered a celebrity mugshot gallery
-I'm now obsessed with it: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/index.html
-Check out Shia Lebouf's mugshot (precious)
-I got a text last night from...well...someone unexpected
-Don't you hate it when you've accepted and grown comfortable with the fact that someone generally doesn't like you at all, and then they go and surprise you by being...um...nice?
-It's confusing and rather inconsistant
-BUT on a happier note I'm not sick anymore
-Yes, yesterday in an attempt at recovery I slept from 6 pm to 7 am
-Needless to say I feel better
-I haven't checked on Mathew and Mara lately (google M loves M)
-Today at lunch mother was flabergasted by the amount of tequila that was brought with a womans margarita...dad then notified her that it was a kids cup of apple juice for her child.
-My weekend is looking to be spectacular
-Perhaps more for later

Posession

Chace Crawford was arrested by Texas police in June 2010 and charged with possession of less than two ounces of marijuana.

Ayy Chace... any time you want to get together and watch The Union, my number is on facebook.

Feel

Hands down
I'm too proud, for love
But with eyes shut
It's you I'm thinking of
But how we move from A to B it can't be up to me
Cause you don't know
who i was before you
basically to see a change in me
i'd be losing, so i just ignore you, yeah
oh oho
but your on my mind, my mind, my mind, my mind, my mind
oh oho
but maybe in time, in time, in time
i'll tell you


A little bit, a little bit
a little bit in love with you
I guess that I'm a little bit, a little bit, a little bit in love with you
oh oho

i know you don't break their hearts
but it's you i wanna take apart
and i will never ever be the first, to say it
but still i they know i ah ah ah

I would do it
Push a button
Pull a trigger
Climb a mountain
Jump off a cliff
Cause you know baby I love you love you
A little bit

I would do it
You'd say it
You'd mean it
I would let you do it
It was you and I and I only
Ha hm

I think I'm a little bit
Little bit
A little bit in love with you
But only if you're a little bit
Little bit
Little bit
In lalalala love with me


i hope they never find out
what they already know, know, know
as soon as its official
we'll have to let it go, go, go
so we don't confirm the fling
keep avoiding all the questions
you can teach me many things
i'm just scared to learn a lesson

the pressures on
both hearts beat like a metronome
both n'sync like a justin song
feels so right but it's just soo wrong
i wonder where my world 'bout
where niggas said i know, tryna take my girl out
and her friends say i ain't the one to go for
she just get jealous cause you always get approached more
oh well tell her fall back caught up in some more shit tell her call back
tell her get a man that ain't cheating on her ass
wit a girl that i know yeah tell her all that, that
and as for you i think i know your the one
the closest i've come
I'm probably...

A little bit
A little bit
A little bit in love with you
I guess that I'm a little bit
A little bit
A little bit
A little bit in love with you
oh oho
lalalala love with me
oh oho, oh oho

Salutations

-So it's 9:32 a.m
-Perhaps too early to tell but I'll go ahead and say it: It wasnt a good morning
-Rather than a Good Morning, I was greeted by something similar looking to the picture above
-Perhaps you don't quite understand
-However, I do, and it makes me feel better
-More for later

....एस

I write like
David Foster Wallace

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Broken Down Train

-Today...
-Has been...
-So...
-Slow...
-It's 3:45 and I'm dying for it to be 5
-Not that work is bad at all, just currently uneventful