A trip to reminisce

Okay.

-2:58 am and I CANNOT go to sleep.....

So I consulted a random question generator:

What were your favorite things to do in the past?

1. In seventh grade all my friends lived within walking distance of robin, and we would play hide and seek.

-Why did I love hide and seek? The most prominent memory I have is still very lucid: Stripes. I wore my favorite stripped shirt as many times a week as my mom would allow. I thought I looked pretty in it. In seventh grade everyone is pretty: It's funny how innocence glows. I thought I was fast too. Someone would count to 100, and I would never actually hide, I would just run. I would run through the trees, and hop barbed wire fences, paranoia surrounding and pushing me to run faster. I would never be caught. It was freedom as the wind hit my face, blowing back my long frizzy hair. I was a real seventh grader. No make up. No flat irons. No Abercrombie and Fitch. My smiles were real too. Sometimes thats all I want to be for just a moment. Real, and running through the wind, worrying about nothing but the threat of someone reaching the number 100.

2. In eighth grade we went to the movies every weekend...with freshman boys.

-Eighth grade brought about many changes, one being the desire to be glamourous. I cut my hair, and started fixing it, trying to impress people that I look back on and laugh. In eighth grade you love to be liked. You put on black eye liner, and your favorite smackers lip gloss, and you meet the boy you've been texting all week at the Plaza Cinema III. And you let him buy your ticket because he's an older man... He's a freshman in high school and your awestruck by that fact. You'll grow up to learn that is the bottom of the food chain, but right now you see it as if they were on top of the world. You sit by them, and you make your hand very inviting in all hopes that they will have the guts to reach for it; sometimes they do, and sometimes they just lean on you, afraid of such a bold move. Halfway through the movie you go to the restroom with your best friend and you have an evaluation meeting: "He held my hand!" "He's so cute!" "Look at this text he sent me" "Awwwww" "He's so cute". You reapply the smackers and then you go back inside. For the rest of the movie you anticipate the end-of-the-night-hug. Will he or not? And then he does. And you hold each other for ten seconds, and then release so you can walk to your mom's car. As you lay awake that night, you see a twinkling all on your own, with no needed help from the stars. You're heart feels like a helium balloon thats going to make your whole body float into a different atmosphere; a better atmosphere, because you feel too good to exist in this one.

Sometimes I still feel like that eighth grade girl, but we have all learned too much to go back to that place. Perhaps we're all just trying to get to a place where we feel that good...as good as we did when we were 14. Maybe it isn't about the place at all. Maybe it's about the people. Who makes you feel that way?